As If Our Country Could Be Less Hopeful, Maria Sharapova Is Off the Market

Posted Oct 01, 2008 2:48PM By Shane Bacon (RSS feed)

You know, for Internet geeks and men with eyeballs all around the world, Maria Sharapova is sports' Marilyn Monroe. Tall, blond, beautiful, successful, athletic and -- just for added excitement -- the daughter of a dad who's 53 cards short of a full deck.

Well, get prepared to bash your unrealistic imagination, because Sharapova now has a boyfriend. The ~~object of my undying jealousy~~ lucky guy is none other than 25-year-old Charlie Ebersol who -- what do you know! -- is the son of NBC Sports Chairman and President Dick Ebersol.

Maria Sharapova Snapshots

Former U.S. Open champion Tracy Austin (Bottom C) is seen with other champions during the Opening ceremony of the U.S. Open tennis tournament in Flushing Meadows, New York in this August 25, 2008 file photo. Also seen (from Top L-R) Roger Federer, Maria Sharapova, Andy Roddick, Justine Henin, (Bottom L-R) John McEnroe, Austin and Mats Wilander. To match feature TENNIS/AUSTIN REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque/Files (UNITED STATES)

Reuters

Maria Sharapova and Max Azaria backstage at Herve Leger Spring 2009 at The Promenade, Bryant Park on September 7, 2008 in New York City.

Theo Wargo/WireImage.com

Maria Sharapova and Max Azaria backstage at Herve Leger Spring 2009 at The Promenade, Bryant Park on September 7, 2008 in New York City.

Theo Wargo/WireImage.com

Maria Sharapova attends Herve Leger Spring 2009 at The Promenade, Bryant Park on September 7, 2008 in New York City.

Theo Wargo/WireImage.com

Tennis player Maria Sharapova attends the Peter Som Spring/Summer 2009 collection at New York Fashion Week September 8, 2008. REUTERS/Joshua Lott (UNITED STATES)

Reuters

Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour (L) and tennis player Maria Sharapova attend the Peter Som Spring/Summer 2009 collection at New York Fashion Week September 8, 2008. REUTERS/Joshua Lott (UNITED STATES)

Reuters

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 08: Tennis player Maria Sharapova attends the Peter Som Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at The Promenade, Bryant Park on September 8, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images for IMG) *** Local Caption *** Maria Sharapova

Getty Images for IMG

Maria Sharapova and James Seuss, Chief Executive Officer of Cole Haan(PRNewsFoto/Cole Haan, Susan Cook)

PR NEWSWIRE

On a more serious note, though, while Charlie was a senior at Notre Dame he survived a plane crash and saved his father's life.

Notre Dame senior Charlie Ebersol and his father, NBC Sports Chairman and President Dick Ebersol, survived a charter plane crash that killed at least two people in Montrose, Colo. Sunday.

Both men were seriously injured when the private jet crashed on takeoff at Montrose Regional Airport, hitting a fence and bursting into flames, according to the Associated Press. The crash occurred at approximately 10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time and happened 185 miles southwest of Denver, near the Telluride Ski Area, according to the Bloomberg News Service.

Charlie Ebersol helped pull his father out through the front of the plane, which had been ripped apart from its cockpit, eyewitness Chuck Distel told the Associated Press.

Honestly, good for this guy. Even though he went to Notre Dame, which loses you a few points, he saved his own father and has the game and juice to pull Sharapova from a bevy of aggressive males just waiting to be cast as the male role in her next Canon commercial.

I just hope he can handle the Russian blond in a relationship. Who knows what to make of a girl that screams as loud as she does on the tennis court?

[Pound Daulerio at Deadspin, go Phils]

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)

10-02-2008 @ 7:09AM

Joe said...

Maria Sharapova Is Off the Market..............?

It's no wonder the McCain campaign is accusing the media of being sexist. With headlines such as this one it's obvious they are.

10-02-2008 @ 11:10AM

Jimmy Hall said...

I like Sharapova, but feel like it is a bit disgusting that since her tennis has slipped, she has to stoop to this level for publicity...... I even adore her tv ads. Oh well, here today, gone tomorrow.....

10-02-2008 @ 1:00PM

Kelly said...

"As If Our Country Could Be Less Hopeful, Maria Sharapova Is Off the Market"
I'm sorry, but my "hopeful"ness or lack there of does not revolve around useless celebrity gossip.

10-02-2008 @ 7:29AM

Gary said...

Loses a few points because he went to Notre Dame ? Are you kidding me, you're a moron and a jealous one at that. By the way we understand your degree came from University of Phoenix.

10-02-2008 @ 8:00AM

John said...

Even though he went to Notre Dame, which loses you a few points,

Really? Are you jealous?
I'm sure Norte Dame cant hold a candle to your fine experience at Arizona. Get over yourself!

10-02-2008 @ 8:07AM

Andy said...

Yes, he surivived the plane crash but you fail to mention that his brother perished in that same crash. You may or may not know this but his mother is the actress Susan St. James.

10-02-2008 @ 12:17PM

Joan said...

You're so right on your facts......way more than Shane Bacon. Is that REALLY a name?

10-02-2008 @ 8:11AM

Jop said...

Really?...who gives a rip?! For every smoken hot women (and all others as well) there or plenty of guys out there very thankful to have them out of their lives for good! Just another women to be sure. If you happen to be that fied up over ANYONE you don't know and will never know or meat you have some real issues you better deal with.

10-02-2008 @ 1:18PM

Lewis said...

I know a few ladies I would like to "meat"

10-02-2008 @ 8:24AM

ar said...

I just dont understand where are these people's morals, values. They all go to bed with every Tom,Dick, and Harry... They are just white trash... And I dont see the big deal in her.. There are alot more pretty women than her .. she is not that pretty

10-02-2008 @ 2:14PM

Mike Hotchkiss said...

you are so right. she is loaded with Zitsssssszzzz! if she is not loaded with makeup. Anna Ivanovic is alot prettier and without Zitssssssszzzz!

10-02-2008 @ 8:33AM

Hank said...

Wow, and to even think you are upset becuase she is not on the market anymore lol. Hate to tell you Shane but you're not even close to being in the same market as this gal. Well, maybe in your own very small and sexist mind you are and if that's the case then worry not. I'm sure you have plenty more of the fine ladies just waiting for you to give them a call, letting THEm know you're on the market for them lmao.

10-02-2008 @ 8:40AM

Slojack said...

Dont feel bad, the lead singer of Maroon 5 said she is very lame in the sack. Just lays there makes more noise on the tennis court. just sayin.

10-02-2008 @ 9:18AM

Jesse said...

Gee Slojack, did you ever think that maybe, just maybe that guy from Maroon 5 or whoever they are, that he's the reason why she may have "just laid" there as you so profoundly put it? Anyone who takes ANY stock in someones ANYONES comments when they are talking about such a subject isn't very smart at all. Well, I guess it's whatever a person wants to "hear" when others talk such crap that makes themself feel better. Maybe becuase they know when it comes to the bed they just aren't much of a pleaser huh? "just sayin"

10-02-2008 @ 9:25AM

arlissholmes said...

Man, what a catch. She is smokin hot............

10-02-2008 @ 9:34AM

mmmark217 said...

I don't care what you say. She is a very attractive woman.

10-02-2008 @ 9:39AM

CAROL said...

I think the cynical comments about this is horrible. I think if all the people think the USA is so horrible, they should move where they think it's better. I am so tired of everyone saying how horrible they have IT. Well go where you can get IT then. I think what this fellow did was heroic not something to be made light. Ask his father if it matters whether he went to Notre Dame, maybe he learned some principles there which helped him to keep a cool head and help people. What a negative world we live in. I think everyone will soon find out what it's like to live in a 3rd world country because USA will be one if everyone keeps complaining instead of doing things to make it better....

10-02-2008 @ 11:01AM

Gail said...

You are so right! Wake up USA. Life is not about where you are from or what you look like. It is about values; your inner self; looking beyond our self imposed borders. This big world has become much smaller. How about embracing a broader view of life our world before it is too late.

10-03-2008 @ 10:30AM

jraintdead said...

Amen, Carol. Well said.

10-02-2008 @ 9:42AM

Teresa said...

His article is meant to be humorous. You guys take everything way too seriously. He is just poking fun at Notre Dame fans like all fans do about one team or another. The whole article is tongue in cheek. You people need to lighten up and or get a life. Oh and by the way, you folks who say Maria isn't that pretty....Ya right!! I am a woman and I know she is drop dead gorgeous.